


The Boy Who Likes Isak's Smile

by wyoheartsmusic



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Even is an angel, Even takes care of him, Fluff and Angst, Hate to Love, Heartbreak, M/M, Past Isak/PChris, Sick!Isak, Texting, cheater!pchris, cookie puns, i told you he's an angel, or more like dislike-but-not-really to love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-23
Updated: 2018-01-23
Packaged: 2019-03-08 17:34:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13463142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wyoheartsmusic/pseuds/wyoheartsmusic
Summary: Isak is heartbroken and there is a boy who is very determined to make him smile.





	The Boy Who Likes Isak's Smile

**Author's Note:**

> Alright, so cuteandtwisted posted this prompt on her twitter: 
> 
> AU in which Isak is jaded over his ex cheating on him and Even is the sunny guy who sees right through him & who wants to help fix his heart. Only issue is that Even also happens to be friends with Isak's ex.  
> Isak hates him, doubts him, but also is only tender for him.
> 
> And I got inspired for it so I started writing it only to then find out that she would write it as well rip. However, I was encouraged to keep writing and I had a lot of fun doing it. Right now I'm in the middle of reading c&t's version of the prompt and it's veeeery different so I hope all is good <3
> 
> There really isn't a lot of hate in this one because Even is so sweet and Isak could never actually hate Even.
> 
> I wanna thank Julia aka Twinklylightseverywhere who provided the first hilarious line though we have kind of different interpretations of it and in general helped me a lot during writing this. I love you friendo <333

"Forget that, fucktruck," Isak hears distantly somewhere in his periphery. "Come pregame with us tonight.”

It doesn’t really concern him much so Isak just smiles to himself a little at the hilarious insult and keeps eating his sandwich as he enjoys the rare sunshine this day has brought.

However, he freezes when he hears a familiar voice reply, “Fucktruck? You’re calling me a  _ fucktruck _ ?”

Isak looks in the direction of the group after all and sure enough, there’s the blond hair and jean-jacketed glory that is Even Bech Næsheim, who is spluttering at his friend’s insult. Isak wants to avert his eyes quickly but his brain and heart are on completely different pages nowadays so his gaze travels further to the person his brain has been avoiding like the plague for the last couple weeks but his heart loves to still crack to pieces over.

Christoffer Schistad is watching the exchange between Even and the other guy with his perfectly plucked eyebrows raised as his arm is draped around some girl. Isak wants to scream at her to get as far away from him as possible, for her own sake, but all he can do is sit there and stare, feeling the pang in his chest.

And here he was thinking his heart couldn’t break more.

Isak finally manages to rip his eyes away from the cheating douche of an ex-boyfriend and instead looks down at his lap and the half-eaten sandwich that suddenly doesn’t look as appetising anymore.

He picks it up and, with a sigh, throws it in the trash can.

“And here I thought that tiny smile I spotted earlier meant you were in a better mood these days.”

Isak startles, his neck making a weird sound when his head snaps up to look at none other than Even. He can’t form a clear thought so he doesn’t say anything.

Even seems unperturbed as he sits down next to Isak, the always sunny smile on his face. “Now I’m kind of afraid to give you this. My mum made it and I think she’d appreciate it if you didn’t throw it in the trash like you did with that poor sandwich.”

Isak eyes the clear Tupperware container with the cookies suspiciously and then shoots Even an unimpressed look. Without taking the box from him (or even saying a word), Isak stands up and stalks off.

Unfortunately, as Isak has already expected if he’s honest, he hears Even jogging after him, quickly catching up with those long limbs of his. “Hey, don’t just run off. I made you cookies!”

Isak gnaws on his lip but he can’t keep up this cold front — at least not quietly. “I thought your mum made them?” He challenges, increasing his footsteps because the building he has his next lecture in comes into view and surrounding himself with his friends and fellow students meant safety.

Even is quiet for a couple of seconds before he says, “Semantics. They were made in the same oven, what does it matter? Just take them.”

Isak squints his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose with his fingers as to not completely lose his temper. “I don’t want your cookies,” He keeps insisting.

He doesn’t understand Even. They’ve never been particularly close, just hung out in the same circles because Isak was dating Chris but ever since they broke up, Even is pestering Isak endlessly. Always coming to him and starting the most random conversations or bringing him food that he says his mother made but it soon becomes clear that he made it because he’s the world’s worst liar.

“They have chocolate, though. Chocolate is good for you!” Even is just not giving up.

Isak groans very pointedly before he tells him, “You’ve seen Harry Potter too many times. Chocolate doesn’t do shit.” He would know, considering how much chocolate he ate after the break up.

“Harry Potter!” Even exclaims excitedly, “Have you seen all movies? Did you read the books too?”

“ _ No _ ,” Isak hisses, not in answer to Even’s question but to the whole situation. He has no idea what Even is trying to do or what kind of sick plan he and Chris hatched but Isak is not going to fall for it. He’s gonna stay far away from Chris and anyone connected to him.

Even stops walking and Isak almost crashes into the glass door of the building he was heading toward because he’s so surprised that Even just gives up like that when he usually is the most annoyingly persistent. “Even?” He finds himself saying, subtly rubbing his arm that braced the collision as he turns around to look at the other boy.

Even’s brow is furrowed and he looks so sad while holding the container of cookies in his hands. “I’m just gonna—“ He points at something over his shoulder and heaves a sigh, “It was nice seeing you smile. I hope the rest of your day is nice and makes you smile again.”

Isak feels— he doesn’t know what he’s feeling when he turns around abruptly, the opening door almost breaking his face and he mumbles a half-assed apology to the student wanting to exit while his mind is still on Even.

He doesn’t know how he feels about Even apparently having watched him to notice that split second of a smile. It makes his stomach churn a little — he just wants Chris and everything and everyone that reminds Isak of him out of his life; and Even is part of that.

However, when he heads home that evening, he can’t help but enter the kitchen right away, and starts getting to work.

 

Isak hasn’t seen Even in a couple of days — which is good, because it means he also hasn’t seen Chris and that is really the only reason why Isak even notices he hasn’t seen Even around.

During that time, Isak has been baking a new batch of cookies every day, only to burn them every single time. Isak thinks that he blames his mother, who probably passed on her terrible cooking genes to him. Either way, he is determined to get these damn cookies right.

Now, he’s in the library to get some studying done but he almost despairs over finding a seat as it is filled to the brim with students. On the fourth floor, he finally spots a vacant chair and sprints toward it before anyone else could claim it.

As he gets closer, he falters. There sits Even and Isak makes another unconscious step towards the spot before his brain catches up and he looks around as if he would find Chris any second now.

Luckily, his ex-boyfriend is nowhere in sight and Isak breathes a sigh of relief. Chris never has been the type to go to the library.

Isak clears his throat after standing by the table like a moron for at least two minutes and Even hasn’t noticed him yet, too invested in the book he’s reading, mumbling quietly to himself. It’s kind of… cute? Isak shakes his head about himself, playing with the hem of his hoodie awkwardly. In the end, he heaves a deep sigh before pulling the chair back and all but falling into it. He doesn’t know what he could say to Even anyway.

Carefully, so he doesn’t mess up the notes or make Even lose the pages of the opened books, he stacks Even’s things to make room for himself and that is when Even finally looks up from his studying.

“What do you think you’re- oh, hi?” He is clearly surprised to find Isak having taken the seat next to him.

Isak quickly explains, “There was no other spot so…” And immediately feels like an ass for some reason.

Even stares at him for a long moment before he blinks and then scrambles to take his stuff from Isak, carelessly dumping it on the ground as every other centimetre of the table was occupied.

Isak rummages through his backpack to get the books he needs for studying, when he spots something in there that makes him halt in his movements. He’s forgotten about it — it’s become such routine to him in the last few days that he doesn’t even consciously remember putting that box in there every morning before classes.

Tentatively, he pulls the box out, dropping his backpack to the ground without actually having gotten his books and notes. He considers his options. Maybe Eskild was right after all. His flatmate thinks he’s unhealthily obsessed but after the tenth time or something, he’s getting semi-good batches of cookies that he actually dares to offer to anyone to eat. They have a distinct smokey flavour but at least they haven’t killed him yet so they  _ probably _ wouldn’t kill Even either.

Isak pointedly looks in the other direction when he slowly pushes the box of cookies into Even’s field of view. Even when the cookies are basically right in front of Even’s nose, it takes him a while to actually look up because he’s so focused and Isak starts sweating profusely as he waits for Even’s reaction.

“Uhh…”

Isak panics and blurts, “I made you cookies!” Several people around them shush him, shooting daggers at him. Isak’s cheeks are burning and he quickly grabs his backpack again to get his things and start studying. He can’t believe he just screamed in Even’s face.

“You made me cookies?” Even repeats quietly, much more library-appropriate and Isak just has to turn back to him again because he sounds so incredibly in awe and Isak just wants to know what that looks like on his face.

When he takes in the soft sparkling of Even’s eyes, which are crinkled at the corners from the smile playing on his lips, Isak feels his heart stutter and he almost tells it out loud to  _ stop doing that shit _ , it’s broken, it’s not supposed to act like that.

Not with Even.

But Isak is helpless. So instead he feels his lips tugging up into a smile of his own. They sit there for a beat longer than socially acceptable, simply staring at each other. Isak can’t help the butterflies that pool in his stomach, much to his confusion. 

Suddenly, Isak has lost all ability to speak so he just nods and turns away from Even, cheeks still flaming. He gives the cookies another push toward Even before he focuses on his book and finds the page he needs.

Again, it’s all in vain when a couple seconds later, there is a cracking sound and a muffled “Ow,” from right next to Isak.

He looks up in a panic, eyes wide when he finds Even crunching on the cookie slowly and with a pain-filled expression. “What are you doing?” Isak screeches, annoying the students around them once again.

Even winces when he finally swallows after a long moment. “Eating your cookies?” He shoots back, adding after a beat, “They’re… good?”

Isak shakes his head, reaching out for the box of cookies and pulling them back against his chest. “You’re not supposed to eat them  _ now _ !” He says in a hushed voice that is on the verge of sounding deranged.

Even looks at him in confusion. “What else are you supposed to do with cookies?” 

Isak waves his hands around desperately. “Let them sit in milk for like… two hours,” He tells Even matter-of-factly.

“Wouldn’t that just make them soggy?” Even asks, his face so adorably scrunched up in perplexion. 

Isak nods slowly. “That is… kind of… the point?” 

A brilliant smile appears on Even’s face and once again, Isak can’t do anything but smile back confusedly. He rolls his eyes fondly and goes back to studying, every now and then making sure Even isn’t touching the cookies again.

Surprisingly, Isak even gets some studying done for a while. That is, until he feels Even growing fidgety next to him, moving around a lot more and heaving sighs that are accompanied by the sound of paper being scrunched up.

It’s distracting. Isak wonders how the people around them haven’t shushed Even yet like they did earlier with him — this is at least as annoying as Isak’s sudden outbursts were. “Even, can you-” He starts rather harshly but quickly catches himself. “Everything okay?” He asks instead.

“Shut up!” A guy next to him grumbles.

Isak grits his teeth, turning around to him and yelling, “ _ You _ shut up!” Naturally, that just gets more people on his case. When he looks back at Even, he’s grinning.

“Wanna get out of here?” Even suggests, already packing up his things, “I am getting too frustrated with this anyway.”

Isak isn’t quite sure what makes him agree. Technically, he has a shit ton more studying to do. “Where are we going?” He asks as he follows after Even, who clearly seems to have a plan.

Even shrugs. “Do you like coffee? I thought we could just head to KB…”

Isak furrows his brow, his brain and heart wanting two different things like so often. “But, like, not as a date… right?”

Even’s voice gets an interesting tone to it when he says, “You’re thinking about going on dates with me?” It might be teasing.

Because Isak is a human disaster, he exclaims, “I’m not!” Only to finish lamely, “That’s why I’m making sure it’s not.”

“Okay,” Even grins and Isak wants to ask him what that means but he’s scared of what the answer could be. He has a feeling Even can read him too well — better than he himself even.

“What...” Isak furrows his brow, confused that he’s the one actually starting a conversation after a couple minutes of silence, “Uh, what did you get upset about? With your work, I mean?”

Even smiles, holding the door open for Isak when they reach Kaffebrenneriet and explains, “I’m studying art and art history and in one of my classes, I’m supposed to write this huge essay about a certain painting. I’ll show you a picture in a sec.”

They order their drinks and sit down by the window. Even immediately starts fumbling with his phone and shows Isak the painting. Isak has no idea about art so he doesn’t know how he’s supposed to react, opting for just nodding.

Even sighs when he puts his phone away and picks up where he left off earlier. “Anyway, I know what my professor wants to read about the painting, you know? Like how it shaped and changed the way art was seen during that time and how it still influences today’s artists and I could sit down right now and write that down but like- that’s so boring? When I look at that painting, I feel completely different than what he wants me to feel but if I wrote about that, I’d probably get a bad grade and…” His expression suddenly turns sheepish and he finishes in a mumble, “I’m probably not making any sense.”

Isak nods, then shakes his head. “I’m- I don’t know anything about art so  _ I _ might not be making any sense but… only you can feel what you feel. Why don’t you be brave and challenge your professor’s views? Maybe  _ you _ can influence his way of thinking. I think you shouldn’t try to conform to something just because someone else expects that from you.”

Even stares at him with wide eyes, plush lips slightly parted. “I don’t think I’m brave,” Even whispers, looking down at his hands holding his coffee cup.

“I think you can be if you want to be,” Isak says and he blushes because  _ where is all that coming from _ ?

“Yeah?” Even shrugs, “I guess I can try… for you.”

Isak blinks at him dumbfounded. No one has ever said something like that to him. That they want to be brave  _ for him _ . It doesn’t make sense. And maybe it makes even less sense in this situation, in this context but it makes Isak feel warm; both his head and his heart in turmoil. “Don’t do this for me,” Isak tells him, “Do it for yourself.”

Even shoots him a brilliant smile that Isak has no idea why he would deserve it but he drinks it in anyway. And Isak wants to see more of that so he asks Even more about his studies and as a result, he listens to Even rant about art and how he wants his own art to be revolutionary and make people  _ feel _ for the next two or so hours.

Isak is not used to the way Even still manages to ask about Isak and involve him in the conversation so it’s not actually a monologue; he even offers to explain things to him when Isak is clearly confused and Isak just loves listening to him and by the end of the night, he feels like he learned so much and he might never have a chance to use that knowledge but it makes him so happy.

On his way home, he doesn’t stop smiling and it’s such a foreign feeling — he’s smiled all afternoon and he can’t remember the last time he did. He also didn’t spend a single thought on Chris or how hollow his chest had felt when he’d caught his boyfriend in bed with someone else.

His every single thought was focused on Even and for once, his heart seemed on the same page.

 

**Even Bech Næsheim**

_ (21:21) I liked seeing you smile _

 

Isak stares at the message completely stunned. He’s completely forgotten that he even has Even’s number — they never actually texted but once he had met all of Chris’ friends, he slowly got most of their numbers as well — but he’s more surprised by the context of their first ever text exchange.

Even said it to him in person the other week but having it written down right in front of him, to go back to whenever he wanted, is a completely different thing. There’s an onslaught of butterflies in his stomach again and he still doesn’t know what to do with them.

He might not see it himself, but to Isak, Even is one of the bravest people he knows.

Isak scrambles out of bed and into the kollektiv’s kitchen where he, as expected, finds Eskild watering his plants and talking in a lulling voice to them. “Uh, Eskild?” He asks awkwardly, fumbling with the phone still clutched in his hand.

Eskild turns around with the flair of the diva that he is and smiles kindly, “Hello baby gay. Yes, it’s okay to get rent to me a week late.”

Isak rolls his eyes. He isn’t  _ that _ bad with paying rent on time — not  _ all _ the time. “Actually, I kinda need your guru advice?” 

Immediately, his roommate perks up and Isak is pretty sure he’ll regret this in less than a minute. “ _ My _ guru advice?” He clutches a hand to his heart dramatically.

Isak rolls his eyes again — it’s something he does a lot with Eskild — and changes his mind, “Forget it.” 

He’s already halfway out the door when Eskild calls after him, “No, wait. Please, I love when you’re opening up to me. Come back!”

There is maybe the hint of a smile on Isak’s face for a second before he schools his expression into a neutral one. He slumps down in a chair at the kitchen table, thankful that Eskild decides to at least pretend to keep watering his plants.

Isak tries to find the right words, tapping his phone in the process so the screen lights back up and he just stares at Even’s message again. “Uh, so…” Isak eventually starts, “There’s this boy-”

Eskild interrupts him with a loud screech, abandoning his plants right away as he walks up to Isak and instead of going for another chair, sits down right in front of Isak on the table. “There’s a boy? Isak! Why didn’t you tell me sooner? I thought you’d wallow in self-pity forever in that smelly room of yours! I am so happy, oh my god!” He yells excitedly.

Isak grimaces, regretting coming to Eskild with this. “Would you shut the fuck up? I wasn’t  _ wallowing _ in self-pity.” He might have been — a tiny bit — but that quickly turned into seething anger, which, unfortunately, didn’t mean his heart was unbroken again.

“Okay,” Eskild says in a singsong voice, his eyebrows raised doubtfully.

Isak shakes his head and sighs. He just wants to get to the point with Eskild so Even doesn’t think he leaves him on read. “ _ Anyway _ ,” Isak growls, “There is this boy I  _ don’t  _ like like that who told me that he likes seeing me smile. What do I say back?”

Eskild’s hands fly up to his cheeks and he has the look of a proud father on his face. Isak is just glad he didn’t decide to squish Isak’s cheeks instead. “Look at you getting a boy who  _ actually  _ cares about you to fall in love with you!” Eskild smiles, “Can I hug you?”

“ _ No _ .” Isak glares at him. Isak ignores his roommates certified Disappointed pout because he has no desire to be guilt-tripped into a hug. “Come on, Eskild, work your guru magic! I need answers! He’s not in love with me and you don’t even know him, how can you know he actually cares about me?”

Eskild sighs, “Oh honey…”

“What now?” Isak groans. He’s so tired of this, maybe he should just go back to his room and forget he ever thought he could get a straightforward answer out of Eskild.

His roommate seems almost amused when he answers, “You can be so dense sometimes, baby gay. When you brought Chris home for the first time, I didn’t tell you that he was bad news because you asked me not to and I decided to trust your judgement and try to like the guy — and I’m not telling you now that you should have maybe let me tell you after all because I think you had to go through that to grow. But I am gonna tell you this right now: when a boy tells you he likes your smile — when he could be complimenting your bum instead — he’s in love with you. I don’t make the rules, Isak. And for someone who ‘doesn’t like him like that,’ you’re making a very big effort of wanting to find the right reply to what he told you.”

Isak’s heart feels so full of love and like it wants to break simultaneously. He doesn’t know what to do with all those feelings so he whispers feebly, “Hug?”

Eskild complies immediately of course, letting Isak bury his face against his chest. Even in the awkward position they are in, Eskild gives the best kind of hugs and Isak clings to it desperately. It’s not often that they hug — admittedly, they’ve done it exceptionally often since the break up — because Isak, unlike Eskild, is very touch-shy so when he asks for a hug, Eskild always knows it’s serious and he never disappoints with the healing power of his arms around Isak.

“I can’t love him, Eskild,” Isak whispers when they pull apart; he doesn’t meet his roommate’s gaze, “He’s friends with Chris and it’s just gonna be the same as before. He’s gonna realise he can do so much better and I’m gonna find him fucking someone else. I don’t wanna go through that again!”

Eskild cups his face in his hands, his gaze filled with worry, and Isak feels too drained, too scared to push him off. There’s tears streaming down his face for a guy that might have fucked him up beyond repair and there’s that familiar anger boiling in his stomach again but the floodgates are open and he has no idea how to stop them. “Isak, my sweet boy,” Eskild hums soothingly, “Do you have any idea how  _ impossible _ it is not to love you? That asshole hurt you like that because he didn’t love you and he sure as hell didn’t appreciate you. You deserve so much better, Isak. And if you just give that boy a chance, I am sure he can show you how much you’re worth.”

Isak nods, sniveling pathetically. He doesn’t know if he can completely believe what Eskild is saying and his head hurts from the crying, as does his heart. “Fuck you,” He splutters after a minute or two, “I came here to ask you for a fucking text reply and now I’m a sobbing mess.”

Eskild chuckles, “Oh right. That. Text him that you just like him — all of him. That will have him on his knees for you in no time. It’s a foolproof plan!”

“I can’t believe I’m calling you my guru. You give the worst advice ever!” Isak blurts, rolling his eyes for good measure. The good thing about Eskild’s ridiculous suggestion is that it stopped the tears — maybe that was Eskild’s plan — and Isak wipes the remaining tears from his cheeks while pushing Eskild off. He takes a deep breath and stands up. “Thank you… for everything else you said when you weren’t giving me horrendous advice.”

“Love you, baby gay,” Eskild calls after him as Isak goes back to his room.

He spends another five minutes staring at Even’s message.  _ I liked seeing you smile. _ The words play like a song in his veins and he wouldn’t mind listening to it forever. Isak briefly considers Eskild’s suggestion of just replying that he likes Even, period. (And not for the reason Eskild gave but just because it’s the truth as much as it scares him.) But Isak isn’t as brave as Even.

 

**Even Bech Næsheim**

_ (21:51) Thank you _

_ Shit _

_ I mean _

_ I like you _

_ Fuck _

_ Thank you for making me smile today _

_ And now how do I erase my existence? _

_ (21:54) :))) _

_ Anytime! _

_ And don’t erase your existence… it’s a good one _

_ (22:05) Why are you like this? _

_ Why didn’t you give up when I was an asshole to you? _

_ (22:06) Because I like you and I don’t like seeing you sad _

_ I wanted to make you feel better if I could and today you smiled _

_ Because of me _

_ (22:08) Oh _

_ (22:22) _

[ _ _ ](https://i.chzbgr.com/full/7101942016/h66516BAF/)

_ Look, it’s us _

_ You’re the cookie and I’m the cup with milk _

_ (22:23) Why are you like this??? _

_ (22:23) Did it make you laugh? :D _

_ (22:24) It did not make me laugh _

_ (22:25) Maybe it made me laugh a little bit _

_ (22:26) YES _

_ I knew it! _

_ If you’re in me a little longer, you’ll be all soft in no time _

_ (22:28) WHAT _

_ (22:29) You know, because I’m milk and you’re the cookie _

_ You said it yourself, your cookies have to sit in milk to be edible _

_ (22:30) Please go back to that last message and tell me it isn’t dirty _

_ Thanks to you, I’ll never be able to eat cookies the same way again _

_ (22:31) You might actually have to thank me if you’re the one baking them ;) _

_ And maybe… I could have worded that better _

_ (22:32) You’re ridiculous and I’m leaving _

_ (22:32) nooooooo _

 

Isak cradles his phone against his chest, blinking up at the ceiling with the biggest smile on his face. Giggles are just bubbling out of him and this feels so foreign.

He can’t remember the last time he felt like this — not even when he was still together with Chris.

Hiding his face against the pillow, he wills his heart to calm  _ the fuck _ down but then he feels his phone buzzing against his chest and his smile widens even more.

Isak wanted to wait at least ten minutes to message Even something else but that is out of the window now that Even decided to take matters into his hands.

 

**Even Bech Næsheim**

_ (22:34) Thanks for the cookies by the way _

_ I felt really honoured _

_ (22:34) The cookies! _

_ Fuck… I put them back in my bag _

_ Ugh I’m sorry _

_ (22:35) I guess we’ll just have to see eachother again so you can give me them _

_ (22:36) I guess _

_ (22:36) Sound any more excited, will you :D _

_ (22:48) You scare me ,that’s all _

_ (22:49) I’m sorry _

_ (22:51) It’s not you, it’s me _

_ (22:52) Wow… now I’m getting dumped without ever being with you </3 _

_ (22:53) You’re so _

_ (22:57) I’m so? _

_ (22:58) Even _

_ (22:59) I’m so… Even? _

_ That’s good, I guess, since I AM Even _

_ You know, sometimes I don’t feel like myself _

_ (23:00) I’m too low or too high and I don’t feel like I am me _

_ I don’t know why I’m telling you that _

_ Maybe because you saying I’m me is kind of a big deal _

_ (23:03) I think you’re still Even _

_ Even when you’re too low or too high _

_ I think we’re incapable of being someone else, no matter how much we try _

_ (23:04) I guess what I’m saying is that _

_ I’d like you, every version of you _

_ (23:05) <3 _

 

It quickly becomes a routine that Isak and Even text. Incessantly. There is rarely a moment that they don’t, and Isak wonders how he could ever go without this. Without Even’s stupid memes and embarrassing cookie puns and on the other hand, his kind words and smart replies when they’re talking about more serious things.

Even becomes a part of Isak’s daily life without Isak seeing him all that often. And Isak finds himself smiling more and more and going out with his friends again. His heart doesn’t splinter anymore every time he sees Chris or thinks of him — which rarely happens anyway.

Of course there are still moments where Isak doubts everything. Even is still friends with Chris and despite everything they’ve talked about (Even’s bipolar, Isak’s mother’s mental illness), they haven’t talked about the big elephant in the room.

Isak wishes he had the courage to just outright ask Even about it. Ask him if there’s a side to him that’s too much like Chris and that’s the reason why they’re friends — ask him about this side of him while knowing that it’s probably too late, that Isak would let Even break his heart like Chris had.

Even doesn’t really give him a reason to think that, but the dark thoughts are lurking and Isak can’t do anything against them when it’s four in the morning, he’s just stopped texting with Even because he fell asleep but Isak can’t do the same.

It’s probably the mixture of sleepless nights and drunk party nights where he’s not dressed appropriately for the weather that lead to Isak waking up with a stuffed nose and a pounding head one morning.

His throat feels dry and even downing a full bottle of water doesn’t help to make the feeling go away.

Isak drags himself to the bathroom to get ready for uni because he’s not a quitter, a little cold won’t keep him from going to his classes. Even though he’d rather just curl up in bed and watch some Netflix.

He pulls on his softest hoodie and sweatpants and hides his messy curls under a beanie and then he’s off. The tram is always packed at this time of day so Isak clings to the pole, feeling weak enough that the smallest jostling could probably knock him over and he hates his life.

When the tram finally halts at his stop, he squeezes past people to get out of there, breathing heavily and feeling completely exhausted once he’s managed to do that. He’s greeted by pure sunshine in the form of Even Bech Næsheim and Isak has to squint his eyes a little looking at him.

“I messaged you if you wanted to grab coffee before our first classes but you didn’t reply so I-” Even cuts himself off, his expression darkening as soon as he really takes Isak in. “Isak, what the fuck? You look like shit!”

Isak closes his eyes, the lids burning hotly. He didn’t realise he’s looking so bad that even Even voices that when he usually always compliments Isak’s smile. To be fair, he doesn’t really smile right now. He still misses Even telling him he looks pretty when he smiles.

Before his brain has caught up enough to form a proper sentence, Even has stepped forward to grab Isak’s shoulder with one hand while the other reaches up to Isak’s forehead. Isak flinches away from the freezing touch, his body taking a moment to stop shivering. “Shit, you’re burning up. I’m taking you right back home.”

“But classes,” Isak objects weakly.

Even shakes his head, wrapping an arm around Isak and gently guiding him to the opposite side of the tram platform. “You look like you’re going to collapse any second and I am actually tempted to carry you back to your place.”

Isak lets Even stir him in the right direction, his head now pounding so bad that he can’t really focus on his surroundings. He giggles a little anyway, which ends in a cough. Once he’s calmed down, sitting somewhere with his head leaning heavily against Even’s chest, he croaks, “You couldn’t carry me. You’re too tall and lanky and pretty.”

“I’m too pretty, alright. I’ll take that,” Even chuckles, hugging Isak a little tighter. Isak hums in agreement.

Isak trudges back to kollektivet, Even by his side the only thing that still keeps him upright.

When they’re in the flat, Eskild is immediately all over them, worrying like the mother hen he is. “I’m gonna make some tea, you get that one bundled up in bed.”

As soon as Isak feels the soft mattress under him, he sighs in relief. Heat is flickering behind his eyelids still and he can barely keep them open but he sees how Even tugs the duvet around him gently, making sure Isak is wrapped up like a burrito. “Will you cuddle with me? I’m cold,” He mutters, trying to sink deeper into the mattress. As if to prove his point, shivers are running over his body.

Even’s voice is soft when he says, “Alright,” And gets in bed with Isak, shifting around until he has Isak pressed into his side, Isak’s head resting against his chest. Even’s arms around him feel safe and warm and perfect. Isak nuzzles closer to him.

He’s half-asleep — or in some kind of delirium — when he hears the door of his room opening and some shuffling around. From somewhere far away, Isak hears Eskild’s quiet voice, “Are you the boy? The boy who likes Isak’s smile?”

“I am. I’m Even, nice to meet you, Eskild. Isak doesn’t shut up about you.”

There’s a beat of silence, then, “Good. I’m the only real family he has. I think you’re a good guy, Even. Don’t disappoint. I’m not letting anyone treat Isak like that asshole ever again. So if you even only  _ think _ about it… this time, there will be broken bones.”

Isak wants to hear Even’s answer but he’s pulled into unconsciousness instead.

 

He wakes up again in the middle of the night, feeling delirious and his teeth are clattering. The warm body pressed into his side does nothing to stop Isak’s shivering.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Even’s sleepy voice reaches him.

Isak is confused. He can’t figure out how or why Even is in his bed. “Even?” He stutters through his clattering teeth, “What are you doing here?”

“Taking care of you,” He says simply and pulls Isak infinitely closer. Isak just shivers more.

Everything hurts and he’s so cold and Even is too nice. He clings to Even’s shirt, squeezing his burning eyelids shut tightly and the tears start spilling. His nose has been stuffed before but now that he’s crying, it’s even worse and Isak feels like he can’t breathe.

“It hurts,” Isak sobs and Even’s grip tightens around him. It might be a fever dream but Isak knows that this isn’t only about being sick. “Everything hurts so goddamn much. I just want it to stop. When does it stop?” It just spills out of him now, through clattering teeth and with the utmost effort but it comes out, “I loved him, I did, despite knowing what kind of person he is. I thought- I thought he could change. If I just loved him enough. I thought he’d change. And instead I walk in on him with someone else… and he just- he asked me if I wanted to join as if my shattered heart was some kind of  _ joke. _ ”

Isak is breathing heavily, his head is about to explode. He goes on. “I can’t love you, Even. I can’t. I wish I could because you’re sweet and funny and I really really like you. But I can’t love you because I wouldn’t survive it.”

 

Isak groans as he slowly regains consciousness. His head is still pounding and he still feels too hot and too cold in the next second but at least he doesn’t feel as delirious as yesterday anymore.

He can’t remember a lot. His memory is foggy but he knows Even forced him back home as soon as he arrived at uni, everything else is blurry or a complete blank.

Even stirs next to him, he’s a little sweaty from spending all of yesterday and tonight next to Isak’s feverish body and under a pile of duvets but Isak doesn’t care — figures he’s in a much worse state. He scoots closer and presses his face against Even’s chest.

That seems to wake Even up completely as he hugs Isak closer, humming contentedly. “How are you feeling, cookie?” He whispers hoarsely.

Isak snorts, something he immediately regrets when his head protests loudly. “Don’t call me that,” He mumbles with no real heat behind it.

The smile is audible in his voice when Even replies, “Aw, why not? You’re as hot as a cookie fresh out of the oven right now.”

Even feeling like shit, Isak still manages to roll his eyes. “Why are we talking about cookies again?” He shifts to look up at Even, giving him his best judging eyes.

Even smirks down at him. “You have some very interesting dreams I must say.”

Isak’s eyes widened. “What do you mean?” He isn’t sure if he really wants to know.

“Well,” And now Even giggles, “You talked in your sleep and one of the things you said was, ‘I’d like to frost your cookie, Even.’”

Isak glares at him. “You’re making that up!” He accuses.

Even shrugs, “That was one of the more harmless ones. There was one about giving me a cream filling, which-”

Isak groans, hiding his face against Even’s chest again. He can’t believe that happened. He wants the ground to swallow him whole.

“You’re so cute, Isak,” Even coos, “I told you, you’d go soft if you spend enough time with me.”

“That’s not how you worded that,” Isak grumbles into the fabric of Even’s shirt.

It is quiet between them for a moment before Even burst into laughter. “That’s right. But giving me a cream filling does work better if you’re in me.” He points out.

“I hate you so much,” Isak whispers, “I’m sick and feverish, don’t make fun of me.”

Even chuckles and if Isak is honest, he could listen to this all the time. “Hey Isak?”

Isak shakes his head, he has a feeling that whatever Even wants to say, it won’t be anything good.

“You must be cookie dough, because I just want to press you on a sheet,” Even says seriously before he’s laughing hysterically again.

The sound of Even’s laughter is the most beautiful thing Isak’s ever heard. So Isak tells Even exactly that.

Even immediately stills next to him. “You mean that?” He asks quietly, unsure.

If Isak didn’t feel so exhausted, he’d try to find out why Even sounds so sad. Instead, he just mumbles, “ _ You’re _ beautiful, Even,” and lets sleep take over his body once again.

 

Isak is sick for four days and Even barely leaves his side — if he does, it’s always when Isak is asleep so he doesn’t notice.

So it’s surprising to find that Even is gone when Isak wakes up when he finally feels better. He expects him to be in the kitchen, getting interrogated by Eskild or something but when Isak goes there after a truly invigorating shower, Even isn’t there either.

Isak is texting with Even in the following days but Even seems more distant than before and Isak wonders if he said anything else beside those awful cookie pick-up lines.

He misses Even, he realises quickly.

Every time his phone buzzes, he hopes it’s Even and when it isn’t, he feels an uncomfortable tug in his stomach.

It takes almost two weeks until they see each other again and it’s unplanned.

Isak is at a party that sucks and it turns worse when he spots Chris among the crowd so he quickly makes a beeline for the front door. His heart barely reacts anymore at the sight of his ex-boyfriend but his head goes into escape mode — and a tiny part of his brain wonders if Chris being at this party also means that Even would be there as well.

That question is answered when the door falls shut behind him and he stands in the cold, Even sitting on the steps in front of him. “Hey,” He says quietly as to not startle Even and sits down beside him, pulling his knees up to his chest and hugging his arms around them.

“Halla,” Even replies and awkwardness threatens to settle between them.

Isak doesn’t like it. Even when he told himself he hated Even, it’s never been weird — and he considers them friends now. “I haven’t seen you in a while,” It’s said as a statement but the question is ringing in it anyway.

Even shrugs, stubbornly staring ahead. “Yeah, sorry about that. I was busy.”

“You’re such a shit liar,” Isak huffs.

Even doesn’t deny it. Isak’s cheek is resting against his knees and he unabashedly watches Even so he sees the way his Adam’s apple bobs when he swallows thickly. “I thought some distance would be good for us.”

Isak feels like he’s going to throw up — and he didn’t even drink that much. “Why?”

Even’s brow is furrowed. “Your heart is broken and I had this ridiculous idea that I could fix it and I tend to get obsessed with those kinds of things so I started putting you before me. And then you told me you could never love me — and that’s okay, I get it — but I gotta look after my own heart for a bit now, I think.”

Isak can’t remember that conversation so it must have been when he was sick but that doesn’t make his apology any less true, “I’m sorry I said that. Chris fucked me up pretty badly…”

“He cheated on you. I didn’t know that,” Even whispers, sounding miserable.

Isak’s eyes widen in surprise. “You didn’t know?” 

Even shakes his head. “I knew he could be an asshole but I- I guess I was a little biased because I thought it’s impossible to want to make you sad.”

Isak’s heart starts beating a little faster. “What do you mean?” 

Even shoots him a crooked smile. “I’ve had a crush on you ever since I first met you,” He admits.

“Even?” Isak whispers, scooting a little closer. He tries to make sense of this. “Why- why did you never say anything?”

“And be the pathetic guy who falls in love with his bro’s boyfriend? I felt bad enough without everyone knowing… and I wouldn’t have wanted your pity.”

“So after it was over between me and Chris…” Isak prompts.

Even meets Isak’s gaze, pain shining in his eyes. “He never really said why you guys broke up but he was moving on quickly while I could see how much heartbreak it was causing you. So I started talking to you, probably for selfish reasons because I just wanted to see you smile again. I didn’t realise until you told me about the cheating why you couldn’t stand me in the beginning.” He takes a deep breath before he murmurs barely audibly, “I can’t promise you that I will never hurt you. But I  _ am _ promising that I will always try to treat you right and I will never cheat on you like he did.”

Isak’s lips leaves a shuddering breath. He’s still scared, incredibly so, but the last couple of days have shown him how much Even means to him and how much he wants him around. 

He trusts him.

For once, Isak wants to be brave. For Even. He reaches out and laces his fingers with Even’s. “I can’t promise you it will be easy to be with me. I’m so messed up but… I think I lied. I think I  _ could _ love you if you give it time. My feelings are all over the place right now but I might have already fallen in love with you. So if you- I trust you, Even. I want to be with you so if-”

Even tugs him close by their intertwined hands and captures Isak’s lips in a kiss. It’s a short kiss but breathtaking nevertheless. Even pulls away with wide eyes, an apology on the tip of his tongue already but Isak’s tentative smile shuts him up. Even sighs, pressing his forehead to Isak’s, “You have the power to break my heart, Isak.”

Isak brushes his thumb against Even’s cheek. Like Even promised before, he’s promising now, “I will be careful with it, you can trust me.”

And then they’re kissing again and Isak’s heart might not be completely fixed but he believes that it can heal again with time. He starts believing in love again.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it <3 Leave kudos or a comment if you did or come talk to me at julian-dahl


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